Did your in laws change?

Question

When you had the baby? Mine changed towards the end of my pregnancy and went from so easy going to so possessive and crazy. We used to get along really well and now I hardly want to be around them. They (mostly MIL and SIL who still lives at home) had these expectations that when she was born they’d get to babysit and have sleepovers and take her to do all these firsts like get her ears pierced, which is obviously something I’d like to be the one to do. They even mentioned making a nursery in their house and getting a car seat for their car. I work from home so I don’t even need anyone to watch her. Are all in laws like this?

Answer

Not in laws but bio mom hahaha. She’s the only grandparent that lives close to us right now (which I’m very grateful for) but I had to tell her how I felt the other day when she said she was going to take the boy to see Santa. Christmas is my favorite holiday and I had planned on doing it next year when he’s a little older but she wanted to. Gave me the whole speech on how grandparents have firsts too 🤷🏼‍♀️ I reassured her that she has plenty of firsts with him but that this one meant a lot to me. She might be upset but I reminded her that she was probably the same way with her first born.

Answer

My husband’s family has always lived near each other & always been involved in everyone’s business so it was difficult for them to grasp that us living a few hours away will mean we won’t be seeing them that often. My MIL & FIL are warm people & always willing to come visit but we want our weekends to ourselves. Especially now with baby, as our own family unit,  which means they might only see baby one wknd a month. Then there’s my family to consider. We have to spread out time. And it can’t be a quick visit either, it takes up a whole weekend because of travel. 
This is my husband’s parents first grandchild and my MIL made a comment when I was pregnant to my mom about how they already got their first grandchild with my nephew (my sister’s son, he just turned 3). As if to say they want the “firsts” to themselves, but that’s not fair to say, it’s still MY first baby. I have family too that wants to see her and spoil her. Then, because they can’t see our baby often as my MIL would like, my MIL makes comments about how they are strangers to our baby.. well yeah, she’s a baby, she only wants mommy or daddy right now. I think my MIL had it in her head we were going to call on her for babysitting right away and visits all the time but no. I EBF too, my MIL never did, so that part of this journey is hard for her to understand too. I keep baby close to me for that reason too. Plus, I’m not open to telling her nitty gritty of it like I am to my own mom. 
We’re still trying to find a balance. So it’s not like they changed, it’s more so they need to change their outlook. Their pre conceived notions of how it was going to go may not be what they thought so they need to understand where we are coming from. Thankfully my husband supports me. 
Anyway, sorry for long post!

Answer

For me I feel like the opposite happened. Not the first grandchild. But my MIL, and SIL were sooo excited about the new baby during my pregnancy, making comments about it being their baby, wanting to babysit, see him all the time, I really had so much anxiety about it, even though I knew it came from such a good place. Wel, since I’ve had my wee boy, they’ve been brilliant, not too overbearing. Just love the bones of him, but know when he needs handed back to his mum. Also, I think what helped , I EBF, he won’t a bottle at all, so I very rarely leave him, he’s with me 24/7 and they all acknowledge he’s a mummy’s boy and they know if I need to feed him to hand him back or when he fusses he wants his mum.

Answer

Mine is a bit possessive, not that bad though. She sees her granddaughter every weekend, sometimes more, but I overheard her make a remark about how she barely sees her to her sister the other day 🧐 There is pressure to let her babysit as well, but I’m on maternity leave and don’t really need her at the moment.

Answer

My SIL wrote an email to my husband saying (among other things) that she and my MIL (who she still lives with at 30 years old) were worried that I would keep our daughter from them and that our daughter would never know who they were because of me.
Not once have I ever stopped my husband from seeing his family or kept them from him or anything so I'm not sure why they felt I would do that with my daughter.
Thankfully they live 2 hours away so I don't have to deal with them often but I think they were expecting to see us/the baby all the time and that's just not realistic considering my husband works all the time and I'm a homebody.

Answer

We didn’t get married until after baby, but we hadn’t really talked to his mom or siblings until after they found out I was pregnant. Now they’re involved as much as they can be from Texas

Did your in laws change?

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