No one knows

My fiancé and I have been TTC for 7 months. He has a daughter from a previous relationship, and we decided it was time to try for one of our own early this year. His daughter was conceived while his ex was on birth control, we’ve been trying for 7 months and I can’t help but think it’s my body’s fault that I haven’t conceived yet.

Kills my heart every time I think about it because we raise his daughter together, and she calls me mama. Her mom isn’t around at all. To think that someone could have a baby and not want to take care of it and watch it grow is beyond me, and it makes me angry that I can’t have a baby of my own.

Our little girl wants a baby so bad too, she points them out to me all the time, and she knows I’m trying to have one, so she always asks if I have one in my belly. Kills me that I haven’t given her a sibling, or even an inkling of one.

No one knows that we are trying, and it makes it that much harder because I have no one to talk to about it at all.

Every month I get discouraged, but this month I’m trying sooo hard to make a baby. Tracking more than I ever have, and I’m trying to stress about it less. I’m hoping it happens in the next couple months ❤️