I wish....

Im a mother to 2 young girls (2&4) with a baby on the way and i wish i was alot calmer and happier. I am very very lucky to have a wonderful husband, a lovely house, dog etc but i find myself getting very very stressed. I find everything so difficult! doesn't help with feeling like crap everyday due to being in my first trimester. I feel like im in a rush all the time and constantly trying to clean mess up! I watch films of mothers being so calm and peaceful amd wonder why i cant be like that. I know its a film but i wish i could just be calm and organised!! I feel like a failure most of the time x