Should I feel bad or no big deal?

So a little backstory, my husband has always been kind of into cosplay and like, looking at girls in sexy costumes. Not like pornographic stuff so much, but just girls in revealing costumes like posing sexy. It never bothered me much, and I used to wear costumes for him too in the bedroom and stuff since, you know, that’s like his thing, what gets him going so to speak. Well recently that’s changed. I had two babies back to back basically, and I’ve gained a considerable amount of weight. So obviously, I’m no longer comfortable nor can really fit into sexy costumes, and my confidence is super low. But my husband still likes to look at the models in sexy costumes and I almost feel like he does it more now. That of course makes me think he’s repulsed by me, and at times I think he can only get excited and fool around with me is if he’s been looking at these models. He tells me that’s not true, but I don’t know what to think. Should I feel upset? Or should I just attribute it to low self esteem? I’m just worried too if I do lose weight it won’t make a difference. Sorry for the vent.