MIL pushing boundaries with this whole feeding thing

What I wrote to her should explain most of the story , do you guys think I went too far ? I feel like I handled it well considering how pissed I am about her deliberately disrespecting our rules.

Here’s the message I sent my MIL adressingher giving food to my kid without permission.

Dylan is my fiancé , her son and Ely/Elysia is Our 10.5 month old son.

“When I came over that day and brought all the toys and food and stuff for you to watch Ely the next day, I had mentioned he had everything he needed and you shouldn’t need to get anything out of your own cupboards for him. Shortly after you had mentioned well we’ve got potatoes and the flavored Cheerios and this and that that he could have and I said again, I would prefer you only give him what I packed.

Dylan said you guys chatted a couple times but you never said anything about needing to give him anything or asking to give him anything. When I showed up to pick him up you said he was enjoying your cooking and you fed him that because “ I don’t think turkey and noodles would kill him”.

I was fuming. But because I didn’t know if you asked Dylan about it, I didn’t say anything then. The very first thing I asked him when I got home with Ely was “Did your mom text and ask to give Ely anything throughout the day” he said no. I said well, then , I’m pretty angry.

We are his parents . We make these rules for our own reasons. It’s not what you gave him but that you did it in the first place. Not only did I say multiple time to not give home anything and you still did, But you ALSO didn’t ask. That was very disrespectful of you.

Unfortunately there’s more.

Christmas. You pressured the both of us into saying yes to the cookie.

That was wrong of you and I promise you that will never occur again.

I know I’ve told you at least twice about my own mother giving Ely a taste of Pepsi off her finger and that I told her don’t do that again he doesn’t get pop till he’s in the double digits. I could not fathom that I looked over and saw you holding that pop can to his mouth at Christmas dinner.

Pop is terrible for people. Adults shouldn’t even have it let alone Children, Toddlers , and especially my 10.5 month old INFANT. And again you did not ask !!!

All it is is sugar! Problems with teeth and weight run on both sides of Elysias family and I will be damned if I will allow anyone including his family feed him junk that stacks even more odds against him.

Plus we are still discovering allergies! We just discovered an allergy to medication so it is on the forefront of our minds to watch every new ingredient he tries! I have a major food allergy that he has a pretty good chance of having. How would you feel ?

Even worse, I know Dylan has told you not to be rudely or trash talking at dad while Elysia is with you, so why was it okay for you to then whisper into my child’s ear about how he can’t have the pop because of me? I don’t care if he doesn’t understand it in the moment that’s exactly the kind of putting people down that I don’t want him to hear.

EVER.

Unfortunately I feel the need to make myself absolutely clear that if you cannot agree to follow each and every one of our rules without question , you will not be allowed to be with him without supervision.

Dylan knows that I didn’t want you to watch him in the first place, but I gave you the benefit of the doubt and so far you have only showed me exactly why I didn’t want you to watch him.

I whole heartedly want you to know that I will never try to keep him away from you as long as there’s no threat to him. I’m simply asking that you respect our rules as his parents as much as you would have expected your rules respected for your own children.