Let me start off by saying this can be triggering to some people who worry about things regarding health.

I used to be the kind of person who never worried about their health. Like at all. In the sense if I were to hear some mention something that happened to someone else- it wouldnt bother me. I wouldnt immediately think that was going to happen to me.

I had my daughter 2 and a half years ago and that day changed my life for both the better and the worse. I love her so much. She is my world. I wouldnt change having her at all. Its extremely unfortunate that having her mentally screwed me up.

I had a natural, unmedicated delivery with her that lasted 20 hrs. The pushing was for 3 hrs.

When I held her in my arms for the first time it was love at first sight.

When we finally were home is when I broke down crying. It was all so new to me and my hormones were all put of wack. I stayed in the hospital 2 nights so this was like the 3rd or 4th day it started. I took a CPR class in the hospital and I believe that didnt help my constant worrying for my child.

I couldn't sleep. I had to just watch her sleep. I was petrified something would happen to her.

If that wasnt bad enough- I started getting a pain in my leg. Of course I googled and google told me blood clot. It also told me a story of a new mother who died from one. This put me in extreme panic mode where I told my husband he had to take me to the ER. So he did and turned out I didn't have one. Still didnt explain the leg pain.

Then I started getting severe stomach pain. Went back to the ER where they did a scan and everything was fine. I was just blocked up from during my pregnancy and apparently that's normal 🤦🏼‍♀️

I still couldn't let go of the fact that I was convinced I had a clot in my leg. I must have had over 7 or 8 ultrasounds done on my legs. I lived an entire 5 months believing I was going to drop dead any second due to a clot. Still 5 months later! One night I turned to my husband in bed and told him I couldn't breathe. I felt tingly all over and when i stood to my feet I felt I was going to pass out. He called my mom to come and take me to the hospital. When we arrived, I was told I was having signs of a pulmonary embolism. A clot in the lungs. They did tests on me and found nothing wrong. That's when the nurse mentioned I am suffering with postpartum depression. I was so confused as I was in the state of mind there was something physically wrong with me not mentally. I did go to my OB after that who was no help. So I went to my pcp who gave me some medication to try. I then started developing a fear to radiation because of the x-rays I have had and that one CT scan of my stomach. I have also had 2 other CT scans in my life due to stomach pains as a child and what they thought was my appendix rupturing, but turned out to be an ovarian cyst. Now I was convinced I was going to get cancer. Why? Google told me I would from radiation exposure. I reached out to many radiation experts as well as CT techs who all assured me it was such a low amount that the risks are next to none. Still my mind believed otherwise. I was hoping returning to work would get my mind off of things, but I was wrong. I still struggled. Come December 2017 (my daughter was almost 6 months) my grandpa passed. I lived next door to him my entire life growing up. I found out super early in the morning when I received a text message from his neighbor asking me why there was police and ambulance at my grandparents house. I woke my husband up and we got the baby and headed over to their house. My parents live next door to them. When we arrived I jumped out of the vehicle running towards their front door where all the medics were. My mom stopped me and told me to go through the other door as she was crying.

I went inside and there was my sister and grandma crying. That's when my sister told me "grandpa's dead." I broke down sobbing. I lost it. This was the first death I had experienced with a close family member and loved one. I stood to my feet and could see his body on the room laying there.

This did not help with everything I was going through. My mom lost her dad the day after her birthday.

I remember my grandpa so excited to find out I was pregnant. My daughter was born 4 days after my grandpa's birthday in July. He was hoping he would share a birthday with her.

Come Christmas morning that year I woke up covered in a rash all over my body. I took a benadryl and ended up falling asleep on the couch during Christmas at my parents house. Turns out I was allergic to the medication that was supposed to make me think better. I broke put in a rash before the effects of it even kicked in.

A few months go by and my heart started feeling wonky so my pcp referred me to a cardiologist. I had a stress test done, ultrasound, and wore a heart monitor. My heart was fine.

Time passed and I lived everyday with OCD of certain chemicals as well. I switched makeup, soaps, detergents you name it. I washed my hands after everything I touched. When something would drop on the floor in the laundry when I was moving it from the wash to the dryer, I would have to rewash it.

A few months went by and I started getting this pain under my chin. It was driving me nuts and I of course feared I had cancer. I went to an ear, nose and throat specialist and She told me they need to do a CT scan.

I told her I dont want anymore radiation (still had this fear I had exposed myself to enough). She literally told me "well you came to me and how am I supposed to know what's going on? You could have cancer growing in there."

Seriously? That's exactly what you tell a hypochondriac. I asked for an ultrasound instead and she said no.

I went to my primary who ordered me an ultrasound which the results came back fine.

It bothered me for months tho. I had an appointment to my orthodontist to check my retainer and while I was there I broke down crying to her about the pain under my chin. She referred me to some specialist because she herself had no idea what it was.

I went to this specialts and explained to him how I went to an ear, nose, throat doctor and she told me it could be cancer. He assured me it wasnt and had me take a seat and measured how far I could open my jaw and move it side to side. He measured my bite and what not. He told me I have TMJ and the muscle running from my jaw goes under my chin and this is what's causing the pain. I also have a crooked jaw and he wanted to do a CT scan in the office to make sure my jaw wasnt in need of surgery. I explained to him my fear of radiation and he explained to me the dose is low and wont hurt. So I asked for an MRI and he agreed if that would put my mind at ease. I eventually had to get guards made to fix this issue. This was also what explained my severe migraines I had awhile back that I forgot to mention as well. My doctor ordered an MRI on my brain because it lasted for 2 weeks straight and I was constantly throwing up. Of course my results came back fine and I never got an answer to that. I even saw my eye doctor because I was convinced I had some store of disease that I cant even remember.

I'd like to say my anxiety stopped but it didnt. I eventually got over my radiation worry (still avoid scans) but learned to realize it wont cause me any harm in the future. I finally figured out what my leg pain was after numerous x-rays and even an MRI on my spine. I was referred to a physical therapist and it was all related to my pelvic floor. Carrying a baby and delivery put a huge tole on my body. I had to go to physical therapy once a week.

My husband and I worked full time so my mom looked after my daughter as well as my grandma next door since my grandpa has passed. I soon found out that my grandma had this obsession with thinking she had bugs on her wall in her Arizona room. She sprayed CANS of raid and since my mom had to go and check on her- my daughter went as well. This was when she was about 1 year old.

I was pissed at the time but eventually dropped it.

Times passed and although I stressed about little things like certain plastics my daughter played with, along with toys. Also Tupperware. I heard on the news that jewelry from kohls and ross they found contained cadmium and lead in it and it can cause cancer. I remember having a dress from ross with a cheap necklace hanging from it that I had to pull put of my daughter mouth when she was younger when I was holding her. I never thought much of it until I heard that on the news. So of course I begged her pediatrician to order me a heavy metal test for my daughter and she said even tho she didnt think it was necessary. I took her down and they poked her poor arm several times and were never able to get any blood from her. I accepted it and moved on with my life.

I eventually thought I was better around February this year. I had worked my way up to a store manager and got my own store and was running it for a year. I told my husband I wanted another child and he didnt believe I was ready. We discussed it and after him understanding I wanted to have my kids while I was young because of the impact it did to my body with our daughter. We started trying and I got pregnant first try which was surprising to us because it took 6 months with out daughter.

***(Post too long rest in comments)***