Too scared to test

Af is due in the next day or two. After our first round of gonal f injections I had a chemical at 4w5d and I found out via my first beta test and started bleeding the next day. We didn’t do any treatments or track with opks this cycle because my husband was going abroad. pregnancy and af symptoms are so similar I’m tempted to test. I’m supposed to set up my next treatment cycle either when af comes or 7 days before my husband gets back.....whichever comes second. I know they’ll do a bunch of blood tests at that time including a pregnancy test and I’m just so scared. I feel like the joy of seeing a positive test has been taken from me.

Has anyone else experienced this?