So so tired...but is it fair?
I love my job. I really do. And I find it really gratifying to be able to juggle both work and home. I live in Canada, my husband and I make a decent living (between $80-$85k each) but I’m exhausted. My job is extremely demanding and stressful, requires long hours - and I have a toddler. My phone is always going off, I’m answering emails outside normal working hours constantly. Not to mention, I’m pregnant with my second (due in July).
I was recently awarded a promotion which will add $10-$15k to my annual salary. I accepted, but I feel like I’m being deceiving. Deceiving because I haven’t told them I’m pregnant, and deceiving towards my husband too because deep down, I want to be a stay at home mom. Not that I think being a SAHM is not exhausting - but I feel like that exhaustion is more rewarding than what I’m feeling now.
Is it unfair of me to feel this way? I feel this tremendous guilt because we all know as women how hard it is to be in the workplace sometimes - but on the flip side, my family is my entire life and I don’t ever want to miss out on my children’s lives. I haven’t said a word to my husband...