So so tired...but is it fair?

Question

I love my job. I really do. And I find it really gratifying to be able to juggle both work and home. I live in Canada, my husband and I make a decent living (between $80-$85k each) but I’m exhausted. My job is extremely demanding and stressful, requires long hours - and I have a toddler. My phone is always going off, I’m answering emails outside normal working hours constantly. Not to mention, I’m pregnant with my second (due in July).
I was recently awarded a promotion which will add $10-$15k to my annual salary. I accepted, but I feel like I’m being deceiving. Deceiving because I haven’t told them I’m pregnant, and deceiving towards my husband too because deep down, I want to be a stay at home mom. Not that I think being a SAHM is not exhausting - but I feel like that exhaustion is more rewarding than what I’m feeling now.
Is it unfair of me to feel this way? I feel this tremendous guilt because we all know as women how hard it is to be in the workplace sometimes - but on the flip side, my family is my entire life and I don’t ever want to miss out on my children’s lives. I haven’t said a word to my husband...

Answer

I mean you have a lot of maternity leave in Canada so why not use that time to really see what you want and discuss it with your husband? No decision has to made immediately. If you love your job and your company values you, perhaps you could talk your way into them accepting you working less hours or working from home where you could at least be close to the kids during the day (you'd need a nanny).

Answer

You can always take the 18 month leave and see how it goes.  I took 3 years off and have been making up for it professionally ever since.  I went back to work in order to have an adult conversation.  The kids are just a 24 hour job that doesn't get turned off.

Answer

I love my job and I’m glad I do because I make pennies haha I’m not sure what your standard of living or cost of living is there but if your salary is considered rather high and you have a degree where you could work less hours but still make a decent wage, could that help? Here in the states, I would have to stay full time to keep my benefits but if you don’t have to worry too much about that, could you afford to just work part time? Until the baby comes, you shouldn’t feel guilt about not telling them anything. Eventually I would to get your ducks in a row with HR but if you’re early a lot of people wait to say anything. I was only making $23,000 as a full time teacher until this past August when I went to work for a cyber school based in an area with a different cost of living. I actually doubled my salary. My husband and I were used to living off of our combined salaries when I was making half of what I do and we made it work. We don’t live above our means and don’t have credit cards or anything like that. We are grateful for the financial gain but if I ever had to go back to my old job we would be okay.

So so tired...but is it fair?

Let’s Glow

Glow is here for you on your path to pregnancy

25+ million

4.8 stars

20+

Getting Pregnant

Pregnancy

1st Year (Baby & You)

Baby Products