Husband or parents?

Question

Long story short, my parents have been extremely emotionally abusive and controlling for most of my adult life. I think the control they had over me as a child was something they thought they could keep going forever. My husband has witnessed firsthand just how cruel they can be. In fact, my mom made my life hell because she thought my husband was too ugly for me to be with. She said a lot of hurtful things about him and his family, and even said some things about his brother who had passed away. Things came to a head when I was pregnant and she called me names for being pregnant out of wedlock. We took 2 breaks from her because the stress was so bad and she just wouldn’t stop. 
Anyway, fast forward and my baby is now 2.5 and things still weren’t where they should be. Although she stopped her overt abuse, she still found ways to stomp over boundaries and just simply pretended my husband doesn’t exist. She never asks about him and whenever his name comes up she gets visibly upset.
Recently, she crossed another boundary I had placed on her (asked her to stop stressing me out about something but she kept bringing it up anyway) and so I told her I need a break from her until I gave birth to baby #2. At the same time I said no to my dad about something I wasn’t comfortable with, and he all but said not to let my ass hit the door on the way out (said he’s done with me!) 
My husband had had enough of their antics and said we’re done with both of them. Now it’s been several months of no contact and they’re trying to apologize and patch things up. My mom has called on several occasions crying. I honestly can’t tell if they are being sincere or it’s just a ploy to get me back. 
My husband does not believe them and thinks they are a danger to our children. He says he and the children are off the table but that I’m free to do as I please.
My questions:
1) what are the odds that after 30+ years my parents are finally understanding how much they’ve hurt me and that they truly value our relationship 
2) can people pushing 60 really change
3) is my husband justified in keeping the kids away indefinitely!?

Answer

Your husband  kind of has an outside veiw of the situation. You've been dealing with it your whole life so you may not have as clear a picture. Personally I think your husband is right. I think you should cut them out completely and enjoy the family you have made for yourself ❤️ I'm sorry you're dealing with this, I hope you find peace!

Answer

Yes, your husband has a right to set limits and boundaries on who he is comfortable with around his children.

Answer

1. No I don’t think your parents have changed I do think its a ploy to get you back. If they would have changed they would have never overstepped the boundaries you two have placed.
2. Do people pushing 60 change? Yes if they see the error of their ways. My grandfather was so racist finally seen how wrong it was and did really change. In that aspect only.
3. I think your husband is right. Why give your kids a chance to be treated like you were growing up and why let them see you be treated like that now as an adult. 
My father is abusive and has always called me names so I told him to not let the door hit him in the ass. He called me on the phone and my 9 year old son heard the way my father was talking to me and calling me a horrible mother that my son has said he doesn’t want to talk or see my dad because no one talks to his mom like that.

Husband or parents?

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