LADIES, How Can I Do Better??

Hi, ladies. So, I see so many of you have nice and loving bfs and husbands. I wanna know how you did it ?! 😭💕 cause my love life has been a nightmare the past 5 years 😂!

I had quite a few heartbreaks in that time span. But the one that cut the most was an ex who was 14 years older than me. I met him young and he was def my first love but the issue is he is a liar, controlling, and uses his wealth to manipulate me. He recently reentered the picture. I used to write about him a lot on here a few years ago. He hid me and always made me feel like I was too young and he never would fully commit to me. Yet I loved him a lot! call me crazy!

It was a lot of stress for me at 19 years old to have a 33 year old man put me through so many changes. I did this for two years hoping he’d see I was dedicated no matter what . And when he left for a woman closer to his age, I don’t think I ever fully got over it. Which is why ...when he came back this week I allowed it 😭

so my ex came back in my life this week. After no contact for 1.5 years. I won’t lie I was kind of happy to hear from him. it was nice to know he still wanted to see me after he told me before he left me to “lose his number”. I was on a temporary high. I was excited to let him know I graduated college, got into grad school, and am working full time all since he’d been absent. I thought it would make me seem more mature.

Until I found out he is still with his gf (the girl He left me for 1.5 years ago). He has no plans to leave her which is fine I’m not looking for him to. I’m not that girl. I can’t let him buy me with materials anymore to be a play thing either.

I just wanna know how tf my love life has ended up in the drain😂 I’m 23 and already tired. Lord is there even a man who wants to love me 😭🤷🏽‍♀️