Not So Equal

This guy and I have been “talking” for year and change now (no sex just spending time w each other and getting closer) . He really cares about me and wants to be with me. This past Thanksgiving we finally agreed to be in a relationship. LITERALLY the next day he got cold feet and it was “over” . So now I’m super hesitant to even go there again. Our lil situation is okay w me. I’m in no rush to have sex or be in a actual relationship due to today’s society and being vulnerable is probably my kryptonite 😂. We’ve kissed a couple times and it was fine no fireworks jus here and gone (I didn’t not like it but it was jus like ok that’s not as amazing as it’s advertised 😂) I want him to stay in my life, I could see myself marrying him and having a family one day but I feel like I don’t care for him as much as he does me. Like on a scale 1-100 he’s 95 & I’m 85. I guess I’m wondering is this normal or am I just in my own way because I’m scared to be vulnerable and I’m stubborn to the bone (ima Taurus btw).