When I was 7yrs my uncle sextually abused me and my older sister sometimes in our own home other times at his house, as you can imagine as young 7yr old neither of us knew this was wrong we was told its was our secret and if we told anybody we would miss out on all the nice treats he use to get us. So like good little girls we obviously went along with it and then one day when I was just 11 my uncle was coming up to babysit us as he always had done for the past 10yrs. I don't remember much as Iv blocked a lot of my childhood out but my mum said I was hysterical finally speaking the words my mum called the police and we were whisked off to a rape center going through hours of testing and interviews he was charged with 2 counts of sextual abuse of minors and 1 court of sextual penetration on a minor all he got was 3 and half years. But it wasn't enough what he had done to me only opened the door to a childhood of grooming, sextual exploitation and rape by several men from the age of 12yrs not only that but a lifetime of drinking heavily and taking drugs I guess to escape but now iv been clean for the past 7yrs iv started to realise that I was actually a minor and these men were in there 20,s and up. Last year I contacted the national crime association as advised to by a friend I had a few telephone calls with a member of their team and I was all set to go and speak out about these men, but for some reason I couldn't and it scared me the thought of having to go through all this again but this time understanding it. I just don't know what to do or how to cope I know going forward with a case is how to set myself free but I just don't think I have the strength anymore I feel so helpless