my boyfriend was over the other day and he wanted to have sex again (we had already done it that day) and i was kissing him and whatnot but when it got to the point of him trying to get my bottoms off i told him i didnt want to have sex and he asked why and i said i wasnt in the mood, so he replied ‘well i am’ and ignored my protests and pulled my bottoms and underwear off then tried to force my legs open but i tried my hardest to keep them closed. eventually i gave up and he was inbetween my legs but i wasnt wet at all (as i didnt want to have sex) so he just grabbed some lube. then, while i was still telling him i didnt want to have sex, he pushed himself in. i tried to push him away from me after a few strokes but he just pinned my arms back, so i used my feet but he just carried on until he came inside of me. while it was happening it did feel alright and i made some noise even though i was trying to get him to stop. maybe i confused him because i moaned a bit? it happened a week ago and its only been affecting me these past few days but i’m confused as to if it was rape.

afterwards he made a joke that he raped me and asked if i was okay and i said that i was fine and i was just tired but after that i felt myself becoming distant. but ive seen him since and had sex with him and still tried to make him happy? i’m just so confused