Long story short I'm 22 and single. I've been talking/seeing to this guy, who we'll call bean, for a few months now, and tho we started off sexually, we've been getting really close. Though we have our differences, he's always there for me. He's the first guy I've dealt with that's shown effort and tries to see where I'm coming from in a disagreement instead of shutting me down. I do really like him and I know the feeling is mutual but there's also someone else. Well there's this other guy, who we'll call peas, and tho I'm not as interested in him like I am with bean, I like this guy too. Well I guess the word is... sexually intrigued. Peas and I did meet before beans and I, and our relationship started off as talking but it was mostly casual but at the same time very sexual. We would both express to each other how much we wanted each other but since he temporarily lived at another state, nothing happened between us but he would always say how he would come back to my area and when he did, he was going to give me some D. When peas and I "fell off," that's when I met beans. But about 2 months of beans and I talking, peas hit me up again talking about how he's coming back to my area late January/early February. Well it's in that timeframe now and peas contacted me again (tho he has before but I brushed him off). I'm sure it's gonna eventually lead to him talking about how he wants to see me and honestly I want him to but obviously conflicted because of beans. Beans always says how this kitty is his and he doesn't want me having sex with other guys (which I understand) but at the same time I'm also single. I don't want to potentially lose beans and honestly not sure how he would react if he knew I fucked someone else but apart of me would want to go through with it because what he doesn't know won't hurt him..

Also, I have had sex with someone else while beans and I were talking. I know it's no excuse but during that time, beans and I were not getting along at all and we weren't talking as much or hanging out so I felt some type of way.

Please no negative comments 😩. I just want advice on whether I should go through with having sex with peas or not. I do want to cuz girl if u saw the size of that thing, u would too. But I would definitely feel bad since beans and I relationship is progressing, tho I'm not sure where it'll lead us so that's why I'm not sure whether or not I should put all of my eggs in one basket.