For years now, anytime I hear a car or motorcycle driving through my neighborhood that has a loud engine I get extreme anxiety and heart palpitations. Especially at night, I get so scared.

Then it dawned on me that up until I was a teenager, my abusive father (who left me and my mom when I was in junior high) drove a loud truck and a motorcycle and would show up to our house in the middle of the night to start trouble and push my mother around. And I was a scared kid. My memory literally blocked out all of that for so long but the fear of that sound never left me.

I’m a mom now and my husband is so sweet and loving, I am so grateful that my children will never have to know that fear. I wish some parents didn’t hurt their spouses and children. No kid deserves that pain and fear. I promise to raise my son to be a good man and a faithful, peaceful husband and father.

If anyone reading this has experienced this type of pain, I’m sorry and you never deserved it. We are stronger than our abusers.