I had my baby in October. My other child is 16, yes I started all over! But...... the depression is about to take me under for real. During my maternity leave I was terminated. I have been struggling with this so much it’s unreal. I have applied for over 200 jobs by now, and every job I accept, I ABSOLUTELY HATE IT. I was on an unpaid maternity leave prior, and all the bills are behind to the point of no return. My husband was out of work due to the weather. And before you say anything, he does not have papers, so it’s not like he can just go and get any job. On top of being a new mom all over again after 16 years, dealing with a csection infection, losing my job, and etc......... I just wanna die. I’m usually a strong person, but I just can’t anymore. Too many changes in short period of time. Major life changes. Last week I had made up my mind to end it all. But as soon as I picked up my baby from the sitter, I felt different. But today, I have those feelings again. I don’t think it’s worth it anymore. I have no point in continuing. I hate waking up. I cry all night. My chest hurts all day. I hate it. This is not living anymore, it’s just survival. I’m sorry, but I needed to tell someone how I feel. I don’t have a support system or anyone I can trust to be honest with.