Touching before I go to sleep!

Anyone else do this? My problem is, it’s hard for me to feel myself if I’m not interested in someone specific or in a relationship. I’m only sexually attracted to people I am serious with. So now im dumped by the guy I’m madly in love with and trying not to be so depressed. But when it comes to my sexual habbits I don’t think it’s healthy to continue that and thinking about him. I feel weird and strange watching porn, I just feel awkward, does anyone have any advice?😂