Is this abusive?

Question

Ok so basically, I like roughy sex an all, and my S/O knows that. I like being choked, slapped, ect. He smacks me during sex and before as foreplay which I’m okay with. But lately he’s been slapping me for non-sex related reasons. I love when he’s dominant but now I’m confused. I don’t know if this is the start of something abusive? Like I was tickling him and he grabbed me, smacked me and left a little mark, and pushed me away. I really do love him, and he loves me.

Answer

Outside of the confines and boundaries of sex which you have BOTH established together, that would be abusive. There is a trust with rough sex that cannot be broken by using physical violence outside of the bedroom...... which would definitely in my opinion be considered abuse. 
My husband has all of my permission to choke me and smack my ass (face is an off limits boundary I set) or otherwise hurt me to an extent DURING sex. 
However, afterwards and any other time in life he is not to lay a finger on me in a rough or violent manner, otherwise the police will be called.

Answer

Yes that’s crazy. Crossing a line, a line that’s meant to be y’all “safe” play in the bedroom. Now, what he is doing is wrong. You do not allow this. He needs to either know the difference or you need to leave ASAP. 
What was his reaction after you tickled him and he slapped you??

Answer

Agreed with @mayhem. He may think you are ok with it outside of the bedroom. I don’t like getting slapped but I do like having my hair pulled and being alittle rough. My bf typically has problems with the little rough part but pulls my hair just fine. One day I was in a bad mood and gave him some attitude and he pulled my hair really hard. We immediately had a talk about how that was not ok and he hasn’t done it since and is even very careful about doing it in the bedroom. You need to be firm with him and make it clear you’re gonna leave if he doesn’t change that behavior.

Answer

Sounds like you need clear communication. This is what I like in a sexual context, this is what I will say if I want you to back off during sex, this what I won’t accept from you in daily life outside of a sexual context, this is what I would like in daily life

Answer

If you have had rules and conversation where you agreed it is something you only
Like in the bedroom then yes it’s abuse if he is doing it outside that. 
You need to talk to him and make it very clear that you only want rough play during sex

Answer

That's abusive if it's not welcome.

Is this abusive?

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