Help! Divorce Dilemma.

Whew!!! First things first, I don’t know where to begin, but I’m going to try to keep this short and simple. Please do understand that I won’t be able to put every single thing that has taken years up until this point here in this post, but I’ll do my best to make it seemingly understandable.

At the end of the year 2018, my husband left me. He walked out for 6 months. I had no help from him. It was the worst thing I ever went through in my entire life. I truly did not think I was going to make it -that’s just how bad it was. I later found out during the duration of him being gone that he was fooling around with someone that was my own bridesmaid (horrible, I know). He denied it, but people were talking. I did indeed feel like there was something going on for a man to just up and leave the way he did.

Around the 4th month of him being gone, after being in a deep deep deep depression, one of my former classmates and I became great friends. Over the past year we have become best friends actually.

Fast forward to month 6 of my husband being gone - my husband finally wanted to come back. I always wanted my marriage to absolutely work and I let him back in. It seems like during the time I let him back in, I was just starting to smile through the pain and make it one day at a time on my own. He apologized, denied that him and the former bridesmaid had anything going on, and I let him back in. I considered my former bridesmaid a sister to me and please keep in mind that she has not said not one word to me since this rumor started.

Anywho, I had truly been grateful for my family and my former classmate for being there during an extremely painful time. I gave it another try; through all the heartache and all the pain I gave it another try. Didn’t even really talk to my own best friend during this time, I distanced myself even as I tried to work through this. Well, things continued and recently I saw messages on his phone (Apple watch actually) with 2 women. One woman asked when he was coming “home home” and the other was talking about their sexual escapades (which he completely denied).

Now he’s begging me not to divorce him. I’ve given this man numerous chances. I have hurt, I have been pained over and over. Yes, I always wanted my marriage, but seemingly at what cost? I deserve to be treated better than this. Even listening to my best friend, ik I deserve better and it’s definitely beginning to hurt my close friend to see me in pain. The crazy thing is, the more this goes on, the more I can see just how much my best friend cares and feels for me. I can truly just use some advice. Especially from those who are married. Is it normal for divorces to just seem scary in general?