Hello so I’m 17 in a 2 year long distance relationship , me and this guy are in a relationship that’s considered toxic to people in the begging of our relationship I had many guy friends and he didn’t seem to care but as time would go by he started noticing that some of my guy friends had feelings for me so he started being possessive and telling me to stop talking to them so I did , as time goes by he gets more and more possessive and controlling and it started getting to the point where he would control what I wear , who I talk to , how I act at that point I was caged and trapped and it was a horrible feeling he’d constantly would make me cry and He started arguments when I didn’t do something he would want me to do he’d go as to far as telling me that he would physically abuse me if he had the chance he would scream at me and verbally abuse me my mom started noticing so she decided to talk to him and his mom and his grandma and I started distancing myself more from him I guess he noticed that because as months went by I talked less to him and seem uninterested in him and he started noticing I was getting depressed and because of that he started changing and didn’t tell me anything as much anymore it came to a point where it stopped sure I was happy and all that he was changing and our relationship was better up to this day but I no longer feel like I have love for him like I do love him but In a way where I care about him and I would never want anything bad to happen to him I don’t wish karma on him nothing of that sort . For the past few weeks I’ve been trying to break up with him but every time I do that he starts to cry and telling me not to leave him that he still needs and me being the nice person I am I find compassion and I decide to stay he guilt trips me into staying with him I can’t find the words to explain to him why I wanna leave I feel as if he doesn’t understand after all the possessiveness and controlling and verbally abuse he did it left something in my heart that no matter how better he gets I feel as if I can’t ever trust him he left this fear in my body and heart that I can’t ignore every time he hugs me or kisses me I’m scared to break down my walls for him again it’s as if my heart won’t let him in anymore idk what to do anymore what can I do to make him understand the reason I wanna leave .