Please help

I don't know if we're going to end up together or not, but I can't fucking take this anymore. I can't talk to the guy I love because he fucking confused himself with another girl. I know in the grand scheme of things she means nothing, will mean nothing based on everything happened, but please, dear fucking god I don't want to live my life without him. He's taking time to distance himself from both of us, and focus on himself because he doesn't like the person he is. I love him so much, and I hate having to live my life without him, I know that I can because I've been doing it, and I did it before we dated but please help, because I don't know what to do. Together for three years, first boyfriend. I don't care if there is anyone better, I don't want anyone to tell me that time will heal all wounds or that I'm going move on because I'm not going to fucking move on, I have all these memories and I'm not going to trade them in for anything else or anyone new. That's an active choice, I don't want anything else, I can't imagine being happy with all of that being a part of me, and starting something else. I can't. So please, help me because I feel like I want to rip my heart out of my chest not knowing what's going to happen. He told me he can't promise me anything and that he loves me and I can't, I fucking can't, you know??? I can survive without him but I don't want to. Don't fucking tell me I have to for the rest of my life, please. I don't know what to do. I'm in so much pain, I need something to help that isn't "time heals all wounds" or "you'll get over him" or "go to a professional," I have a therapist, I just can't talk to her all the time.