I have a boyfriend of one year and honestly I had the best connection with him , I’ve never had with anyone like this where I’m OPEN to everything without being embarrassed, I am MYSELF just how I am with friends and family and myself I am with him. He seen the deepest inside me emotionally and sexually. He is so understanding, respectful, calm and SO PATIENT. I’m always the one starting fights, getting at times and telling him off and he handles my temper. He treats me so good and he’s loyal yes we both have our mistakes but we both open to what we both some and instead of fighting he talks it out with me instead of breaking up with me. He wants to meet my family and he’s serious about things. Everything is perfect but here’s the problem...

We talked about our fantasies and fetishes and for some reason he’s the only person I had this fetish, fantasy or maybe mental problem .. but I get really turn on and I find it very hot when he gets turn on by other females.. which is so F**** crazy to me bc never in my million years would’ve I come to believe this.

His fantasy or at least sexual desires are teens 18+

We both talked it out and we both came to the point ( mostly me ) to look at other pictures of teens and porn as well and yes I enjoy it and he loves it and we both enjoy it at the moment but honestly... feelings are getting in the way where I’m hurt once it’s over once my confidence and self esteem is so low.

I noticed he has a type and honesty it hurts even tho I enjoy it and it’s mentally playing with my head.

I pleasure him by showing pictures / porn while I’m giving him head or handjob and I am doing the most at that moment but when everything is done I am annoyed , mad and sad and so many thoughts and I end up getting mad at him without showing it. We have talked about a 3 some but I want it but at times I don’t think I can do it.

I know I should talk about this with him but I know it’s something we both enjoy 2 in 1 where both of our fantasies are there. This has helped me grow as well where I don’t get jealous when we go out , where I trust him more and where I’m confident about porn ( my past relationship porn was a problem where my relationship became toxic ) but now porn isn’t a problem and I’m really open and it’s not only porn but checking girls out ( he doesn’t do it ) but if he were to I wouldn’t be as bother as before. It has helped us grow. I really don’t know how I feel, what to do if to keep going or not.

At times I want to break up with him because it hurts how he sometimes gets more turn on by them than me but he says it’s bc I’m there making it even better bc if he were to do it by himself it wouldn’t be the same. I really don’t know .. when we talk dirty as well.. he talks about them being other things he have never called me like “ oh I bet she would have a nice pussy “ oh I bet she’s super “

Tight “ and idk ... I really don’t know