Ppd/ppa

Idk if I’m going through ppd or if I just feel like I made a mistake getting pregnant/having my baby :(. I was happy through out my whole pregnancy , fináncialy Im not stable and I live with family who are pretty toxic. I’m 22 and I didn’t know taking care of a baby would be this difficult. My bf is on the autism spectrum so it makes it difficult for him to do things like change the baby’s diaper , carry the baby etc. I feel like I’m doing this all by myself. I hate waking up every 2-3 hrs, pumping my breast everytime, I want my life back. I’m constantly worried everyday about my future and the future of the baby , I don’t want anyone holding him especially with all that’s going on today. I keep thinking about how I’m not going to be able to enjoy my life and go out anymore and I’ll have to take me baby everywhere.