How do I be a good person?

How can I be a good or better person. I try to do the right things. I’ve made some terrible mistakes in the past, and although they are in the past, I have set backs where I am consumed with guilt. They were decisions that, me as the person I want to be, would never have made!

I just want to be able to move forward and be the kind of person I always thought I would be.

I don’t know how to let go of the past and move forward and be happy. Why am I like this? Why can’t I just be good? I feel like I just tear everybody around me down. I hold them back, I disappoint them, I’m just a letdown.

I can’t even tell you why I’ve done the things wrong I did, I have no good reason. I feel like it’s because I feel lacking in some way? And I make harsh irrational decisions on shaky ground. Then once I touch base with reality, it’s like I don’t even know who I was at that time. I hate the me I am in those times of my life.

I’m sorry, maybe this should go to rant? Or mental illness? I don’t know where to put it and I can delete it, I just had to spit it out somewhere.