Are you still letting your child go between houses during this? (For people with custody arrangements)

Question

Just wanted to see what people were doing in this situation. We’ve really struggled. We have full custody of my step kids, they see their mom every other weekend. Their mom is still working and going on, whereas we’ve been social distancing and working from home for 3 1/2 weeks. They skipped this weekend that was supposed to be hers. She never argued but was irritated. The kids are above 12 so they can choose where they go, they chose to stay here. We have a shelter in place order until April 30th, I have no idea what to do when their moms next weekend comes up in 2 weeks. We don’t feel comfortable with them going but legally can’t hold them back. Everyone is freaking out about kids seeing their grandparents or other family members, but what about the other parent? She also lives with her mom and goes back and forth between that house and her boyfriends house still.

Answer

Our arrangement has changed. 
My husband and I have a 1 month old and we have two little girls from his previous marriage. It’s split 75/25 (75 is with their mom). They live almost 2 hours away, but they’re with us every other weekend and for extended periods of times (vacations etc.). This has been a really difficult time and it’s a sensitive topic as I’m sure it is for many other moms out there. I posted about this in another group in order to get feedback. I’m sure I’ll receive backlash for saying what I’m about to say. Though I’ve encountered some really kind insightful women on this page, many can be downright mean and do not make this feel like a supportive community.
Unfortunately their mother has failed to quarantine the girls, therefore they’re unable to visit. Like many people, she hasn’t been taking this seriously. Both my husband and I work within the security realm. We see and hear about what’s going on daily. I’ve already had a YOUNG colleague of mine pass away. I have friends and colleagues with no preexisting conditions in different states who are extremely sick because of the nature of our work. We have family members within the high risk category and not enough is known on pregnant women, breastfeeding moms and infants. Friends of friends within the law enforcement community have passed away because of this. I am taking every necessary precaution and have been doing so since the beginning of February. 
Anyway, their mother wanted us to take the girls because “they were driving her crazy” and she needed “me time.” I understand that this is an extremely trying time for everybody, especially for moms because the kids are home. My husband talked to her and she admitted that she wasn’t quarantining them. She said that “kids aren’t affected by the virus.” When he talked to her about many children being asymptomatic and the worries that we had with a newborn along with his father who has serious health issues, she didn’t care. Her response for not quarantining them was that she needed “human interaction.” She then demanded that he pick up girls. 
We’ve asked her to quarantine them, but she’s still visiting friends. So at this time the girls cannot come over. Yes, they’re his daughters. Yes, this is sad. But no, they cannot come over. We’re not putting our home at risk because of their mother’s ignorance. I feel awful for the girls, but I do not feel bad about protecting my newborn or his parents. Our state’s gov is not doing a good job at holding people accountable for their negligence. Family courts are not operating at the same capacity due to people being sent home. 
This is a scary time. We’re still trying to work on this situation and getting the girls’ mom to quarantine, but there is only so much we can do at this time.

Answer

My son is staying home instead of doing is every other weekend visitation right now. However, my daughter usually goes to Wisconsin every summer for 6 weeks to visit her father. I intend on her going because if she doesn’t- that time can’t be made up and it would be nearly 2 years in between if she didn’t go until next summer. I’ll be worried of course but.. idk. either way it’s all nerve wracking.

Answer

My daughter has recently continued going to her dads after we both stayed in isolation for the 2 weeks and no symptoms showed. She goes by car straight there and back. I feel like if the both of us continue to isolate, theres no problem with her going to see him. Saying that, I can completely understand if someone doesnt want their children seeing the other parent if they are still working or not following isolation properly.

Answer

Custody is considered essential ! My ex-husband and I share custody of my two older children, a week and a week, I would put up a fight if he told me he was not allowing them to switch. That’s not right, I’m shouldn’t be punished by not seeing my children! He and his wife are both considered essential workers and both still go to work. My husband is an essential worker and I a stay at home mom so I literally never leave the house except for food. My husband goes to work and comes straight home. From what my kids have told me they have gone out of town to their step moms dads home but guess what I can’t keep my kids here because they are still going to work or going to her dads because custody is considered essential

Answer

My daughter doesn’t go to her dads. She’s 9 and has health issues. He lives in nyc and we live right outside of it in NJ. He totally gets why she’s not going and will make up the time when life returns to whatever normal will be

Are you still letting your child go between houses during this? (For people with custody arrangements)

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