Sick of this dam quarantine.....

Any one else bummed about having to cancel our little ones birthday parties. Parties are usually huge in our family and I even had family flying down for this. My son's birthday is May 17th and I just can't help but be super emotional about not getting to throw him a party. I know not everyone believes in having a 1st birthday party any ways but it's important to me to celebrate his life with everyone there. My son was born a preemie and I was stuck in labor at the hospital for one week because they couldn't give me pitocin since I was only 34 weeks. Endured pain from steroid shots to give him a fighting chance and then having to have an emergency c section due to him being in distress and I felt every bit of it and they eventually had to put me out. My labor was absolutely terrible and I honestly still have PTSD from it. For me the party is more so to not only celebrate his life but that it's been a whole year since I went through the worst experience in my entire life. I get honestly depressed because since January I've been holding off from buying his decorations and renting a location for it and now I find myself deleting the screenshots from pinterest that I saved. I know it's not a big deal but the fact is I would have never thought our world would be in this pandemic right now. It's scary and I'm from florida so things are getting really bad here and I'm also a pharmacy technician and my husband is a director of a nursinghome so we're both still risking our lives every day..I guess it's sad to think as he gets older that he will ask about his 1st birthday party and I will have to think about this horrific situation everyone is going through.