(Reposting bc I didn’t get really any help or anything...)

Hi everyone. So I need some advice or some positive vibes sent my way or something. For about a year now I’ve really been struggling with the want of having a baby but...I can’t.

Some background: my family life growing up was really rough. My mom was not in the picture much and so I had to grow up early and be a “mom” figure for my younger sisters. Once I came to college I met who I thought was a great guy. We were together for almost four years, got engaged, broke it off and then eventually broke up. We’re now just friends. August of 2019 I met my current significant other. He’s just amazing. And treats me so well. He takes care of me and calls me beautiful everyday. He’s amazing. He’s been married and divorced already (long back story) and doesn’t have any kids. For reference, he is 30, I’m 23.

All I want, what I really really want is to have a baby, to start a family of my own. I’ve wanted this for so, so long. I’ve talked to my boyfriend about this and he doesn’t really wanna talk about it much and I don’t pressure him to talk about it. He’s not ready and we live in a small, one bedroom apartment so there isn’t much space. But...still. I was hoping to graduate college in May so that way the idea of having a baby was more plausible but graduation has been “postponed” due to COVID-19 so my whole like...life’s plan has been pushed back now. I just...I get on Facebook and other social media and see my friends and people I know getting married and announcing their pregnancies and it’s so hard to see because...I want that to be me. My cousin also had a baby 6 months ago (she’s my age) and that just made things so much harder. And I know I shouldn’t rush things or that “it’ll happen when it’s meant to happen.” But none of that helps. I’m just trying to figure out a way to cope with these feelings. Because I’m really struggling. Any advice or positive vibes would be helpful. TIA