My ex or new guy?

Hi everyone.

So I hate to even have to debate on this. But i slit up from my daughters dad back in January. He was emotionally and mentally abusive. And sometimes physically, I mean he never punched me or anything like that but nevertheless he would shove me around. He called me out of my name so many times and over all I was just so unhappy with him until I decided to leave him. After splitting up, it got nasty between us one day and we had to go to court to set up a child custody schedule instead. We’ve been good ever since. He’s begged me to come back, he wants his family back. But I recently told him I do not want a relationship again with him because im still scared of him and I wasn’t happy with him at all. To mention, he is almost 40 years old, I am 24. I hate to not be with him only because of my family, my daughter. She’s going to grow up without both her parents which is not what I wanted. I sometimes go over for a little, my daughter loves when we’re together. We just don’t kiss or be intimate at all. My ex owns his own construction company so he is very well financially stable. He has 8 kids in total. Three of which used to live with us the rest we didn’t see. So it almost felt like he never had so many kids. He is a great dad as well and tries to make it all about the kids no matter. He’s fenomenal with our daughter but also puts too much pressure on his kids to try and be “perfect” I don’t like that. Because the kids feel they need to be a certain way to please dad or dad will go off on them. And I was the same.

But then there’s this other guy who has been by my side ever since my split up, he works with me at the same store I work for. He is 29 years old. He treats me with so much respect. In fact I’ve treated him like crap and I think it’s because that’s what I was used to from my past relationship which I’m working on. Even then, he rather sit down and talk to me instead of completely ignoring me or letting me sit there angry. He treats me literally like a queen. The only thing I don’t like is the fact that he still lives with his parents and he was in prison for 8 years. He was in a gang when he was 18 and decided to drive his friend to look for someone he thought was only going to jump him not knowing his friend was trying to commit a murder. He’s only been out for almost 4 years. He has 2 kids, ages 10 and 2. And he’s such a great dad. He’s all about his kids. Aside from that he’s very intelligent. He doesn’t put any pressure on me. Hes not controlling, he’s not narcissistic. He isn’t abusive. If I’m sick, he’ll drive to get me medicine to just come drop it off. When I was depressed, he would pick me up and drive me around so I wouldn’t be stuck in the house and no attempt to try and kiss me or have sex. He genuinely just likes my company. I just ask myself what can he offer? We work at the same retail store. He’s almost 30 still living with parents so I’m trying to understand that he just got out of prison and getting his life together. He probably has his life a little put together than my ex actually to be completely honest. My ex Is full of traffic tickets, suspended license, domestic violence cases, aggravated cases.

Please do not judge me. We’ve all been in similar situations.