Me and my bf never have sex anymore😔

me and my partner have 3 children together, we’ve been together 6 years since we were 14. We used to have sex multiple times a day as kids😩🤦🏼‍♀️ but then as we got older it went to a more normal every other day/2 or 3 times a week at the least which worked for both of us. Since I’ve had my 3rd child our first son, he has been off sex. It happened around 5/6 months pregnant, however the other times I’ve been pregnant sex hasn’t been of much importance anyway because of it just being awkward with my belly in the way so I didn’t think much of it. However my son is 4 months old now and we’ve had sex 3/4 times since he’s been born. We’ve spoken about it multiple times and he says he doesn’t know what’s wrong with him he’s just not in the mood, not even to just have a wank on his own. I trust that he’s not cheating on me as it would be out of character for him. He’s also not very affectionate anymore either. We used to always be sat with each other, all over each other, having conversations about random crap, now it’s other ends of the sofa sat on our phones every night😒 whenever I bring it up he thinks it’s always about the sex and he thinks because I went off sex when I was 15 (I got raped by 5 people) that I should be understanding, because he was so supportive at that time, but I am trying to be understanding and trying to be supportive, but also at the same time I don’t really get it, nothing’s happened to him to put him off? Excuse me if that’s a bit ignorant, but as I said I dont get it. He also thinks that he doesn’t need to kiss, cuddle or tell me he loves me everyday anymore because we’ve been together long enough that I should just know that, but if anything I’m second guessing this. I don’t really think I can go on much longer without just the tiniest bit of affection. I don’t have any friends so my main source of attention and things is mainly all on him really and I’m starting to feel isolated in my own home now and it’s really getting to me and it’s making me feel depressed to which I can’t help but feel I’m the problem no matter how much he tries to reassure me. It’s just gone on too long for me to not start thinking everything and anything now😞

It’s 100% not about the sex for me I mean it would be nice but we don’t even cuddle anymore. Sometimes I just wanna sit and cuddle and watch a film or have a conversation, just literally any other type of affection. I don’t even feel like boyfriend and girlfriend anymore, and this is the time I would think we would be looking into making a more serious step in our relationship once our finances are in the place, but right now I feel like we’re just 2 housemates. He doesn’t even come to bed anymore. He always ends up falling asleep on the sofa. He comes to bed once in a blue moon, he’s slept on the sofa for the past 9 months at first it was because again I was pregnant and he wanted to give me more space so I could get a good nights sleep but I’m not pregnant anymore and he still doesn’t come to bed, but now it’s because he doesn’t want to accidentally wake the baby up.

When he is in the mood he’s lovely all day. He’ll be his usual annoying overly affectionate self that brings back all the old memories from when we first got together and remind me of why I love him so much. He’ll come and hug me from behind while I wash up or we’ll cuddle or he will tease me until the kids go to bed and we have sex and I don’t feel like it’s forced but at the same time it can be a bit overwhelming because he will literally not leave me alone all day and I’m not used to that anymore, but some times as well I’m not in the mood but I force myself to be in the mood because I don’t know when he’s next going to want to have sex again and I don’t want to let him down or make him feel like he’s pushed me away.

Nothing has changed much in our relationship, apart from this if anything this is the best we’ve ever been. We’ve had a few domestic issues in the past but we’ve worked on them and still are.