Torn..need alcohol 😅

I’ll try to shorten this up a bit..

I was with a guy 8 years, had our first kid together and broke up maybe about 6 months after baby was born. Long story short, he cheated multiple times even before baby, and I felt like I loved him so of course I stayed 🙄 whatever. Okay so after the break up I went through a little “hoe season” it was fun, I loved the freedom, I learned a lot about myself...blah blah blah. Ended up meeting this guy who was really interesting, but we both weren’t ready for a relationship. So my BD found out that I was “seeing other people” and he decided to let me know how much he was in love with me, and wanted his family to be together...typical N* shit. 🙄 of course I fell for it, I felt like it was really genuine, the first two months were great..now I’m just like “ehhhh I don’t know.” I’m still very interested in the guy I met during my “season” and he’s still interested in me, even wants a relationship now (convenient right? 😒) but he really is a great guy. with my BD I just don’t feel like the woman I am now will work with how he is..I really just want to be single and focus on healing myself from past hurt so that I can love someone correctly and let them love me correctly from the jump...oh and I forgot to mention I’m like 5 weeks pregnant by my BD 🤪 anyone figured out a time machine yet?