Advice regarding my MIL

I am in desperate need of some advice please...

my fiancé and I have been together for a year and a half. We are very stable and strong in our relationship. We just welcomed our first baby girl, and she is currently in the NICU. We had some complications during the pregnancy (IUGR, AEDF) we were admitted at 26 weeks with the possibility of delivering any day. Sweet girl was a fighter, and we were released 11 days later with extra monitoring. We delivered early at 34+4 due to my water breaking.

Paislee Rae has been a fighter and is in the NICU and just turned a week old!

The issues started long before the pregnancy with the MIL saying things about my past before the relationship and basically just ignoring my feelings about it. My fiancé said something to her, and she changed for a bit, but things keep going back. At 26 weeks, she told us that we should postpone our baby shower until after Paislee was born because we did not know if she would live or not even though the doctors were not even discussing the possibility of that. She never apologized or thought twice about saying that to us either. She attended the baby shower when we had it at 30 weeks, but she basically ignores me like I am nonexistent. Now that Paislee is born, she is pushing for my fiancé to send her every picture we take because she cannot visit due to COVID-19 and she is pushing to come over and visit as soon as baby is home even though we will have an preemie baby and FIL is in law enforcement. MIL also will not talk to me/acknowledge that I am the mother of Paislee or that I exist. She wants to know when she can watch her, but I am struggling to even let her see her because I feel as though she won’t respect my wishes because she does not respect me. I also am afraid that she will not want to let me have my baby back if I want her, and that will be rough for me as I do have PTSD due to my high risk pregnancy and the NICU stay with the COVID-19 rules.

Am I being unreasonable/irrational? I feel back for feeling the way I do, but I can’t stop it.