Need Advice

I’m 20 and my ex is 25 we been together for 2 years and I broke up with him because my dad doesn’t like him for me

Now my ex doesn’t want me back but he wants to be friends but I don’t want it driving me crazy that I’m not his gf and idk y u feel so bad

I cry every single day in the bathroom and I don’t know what to do!!!

And yes he was my first and we started off as friends with benefits

I want to detach myself from him but he’s making it hard also we still have sex