How to overcome sadness/confusion to focus on life?

My bf and I have been together for 1.5 years now and we are currently on a break, for a month now (absolute no communication). He said he needs time alone to focus on career because he hasnt been able to.

It makes me think that I was the reason for him not to be able to focus on his life, and that I could not help him with his career since I don’t study the same major and I am still an undergrad while he just graduated.

All these times, I’ve been looking at the ups and downs in our relationship... The sad part is that i have several problems with him and I just could not express it or tell him. I have to say I am an introvert and I hate confronting, I hate arguing because I can easily lose my emotion and fall apart even it is not a big deal. He told me to talk my problems to him and so we could understand each other. But there was this time when smth happen, he confronted me, I took it, again it was not even a big of a deal but i broke down and left in the middle of the fight to cry some place else to calm myself down, when I came back he started to get even more angry because that action mean I dont value him.

On another occasion, I tried to talk to him my problem and somehow the situation turns around and he became to be upset with me. It made me feel like shit when I was the one who made him sad and all...

So idk it makes me not wanting to express my feelings to him anymore and just let times do it job or just trying to find a good time to bring up the problem.

But that good time never appears to me. I know that he has been struggling with his career so I keep on thinking i should maintain these happy moments so he has a good time with me rather than making out dates bad + he has hard times at work -> it would be too much for him to handle.

So I mostly stay quiet and let time do its job.

But now, we are on a break... I dont know how to deal with all these feelings... is he cheating, how he is doing, does he have feeling for other person, how should i react when he starts texting me back? would he ever text me back? how long more do i have to wait? does he just want a break up?etc etc...

I need to focus on my assignments... but now I just dont have the energy, the focus to it...

How can I deal with this?

Thanks in advance for reading my long ass post. Please don’t hesitate to tell me your thoughts and advices, i would be very appreciated