Please give advice to a ftm

I’m 30 weeks and 1day ... I’ve had worries off and on this whole time , I found out at 6 weeks I was pregnant.. I have pcos so I was told it would never happen but then it did , in the beginning it was “oh no what if I miscarry” then we got passed that and everything was really great up until I found out I had GD at 28 weeks now I’m in a funk again . Right now I’m trying to control with diet but on days like today my numbers have been high and I’m scared... Idk , I’m young, I’m 21, first pregnancy and I just want this baby so badly , I’m so excited but then again I’m absolutely terrified of losing her right at the end . I just need help putting my mind at ease . I’m also obese and I know that can cause stillbirth too. I’m just sad , like I’m happy but I’m sad idk . Please just talk to me or something about your experiences , please nothing negative as I am already having a hard time pulling myself out of dark thoughts . Thanks .