I do this to myself

Why do I do this to myself month after month? Period 5 days away negative pregnancy test. I wish I could just wait until my period is late! I dont feel like my period is coming. My boibs DONT hurt I have slight cramping. I never have cramping I hope I get a positive soon..... I tested with fmu at 530 this morning but I also used the bathroom at 11 last night so I feel like it might not have been strong enough