Advice needed

So.. I have a really hard time initiating sex though sometimes I really want to. I think about initiating sometimes but my anxiety gets control over me and I start overthinking things and how to so I just don’t, I’ve been with the father of my kids for almost 3 years and I’ve probably done it 3-5 times and It really affects him, makes him feel like I dont want him and I get that and it bothers me too alot! We also don’t always go to bed at the same time so it’s even harder for me.

I just feel like I’d do something wrong or what I should do to start and how (overthinking)

Also he does most of the work during sex (not all but most) and I want to change that and do more, I’m never on top because like with the other thing I overthink it and just freeze and almost like I just can’t move smooth or something lol (because of my thoughts, I’m not just being in the moment, I know I can but somehow it just all goes wrong because of my damn thoughts😅)

Any advice on how I can initiate, tips on being on top or how I can do more and what I can do during sex?