I hate my birth experience

I had like a really traumatic birth experience and I barely have any photos from the hospital and I wasn’t allowed skin to skin time because the nurse kept saying unwrapping her would make her too cold and I was on narcotics from my surgery and for my spinal migraine so I didn’t have the mental capacity to stand up for myself. Every time I read a birth story I’m triggered with flashbacks of my birth experience. I look at photos of women in the hospital with their newborns and I get so angry. It’s not fair that I had that taken from me. There’s nothing I can do to change it. I can’t go take more pictures. Having another baby isn’t the answer either. I’m just upset. I’ve been talking to my mother about this and she thinks I have PTSD from my birth experience. She wants me to talk to a professional but I just cannot afford it. I do not have insurance now that I’ve turned 26 and I am self employed, so you can assume how business has been with covid going around. I haven’t been able to work in two months. 😩

***Just so you know, I don’t sit and read birth stories. I generally try to avoid them but yesterday my friends son turned 2 and she shared her birth story and photos of them in the hospital. It came across my Facebook timeline this morning and triggered me. After a short cry and my own child waking I am feeling better for now. Thank you for your kind words and suggestions. I will look into student therapy sessions and online sessions as well.