SORRY ITS LONG BUT PLS I WOULD APPRECIATE FEEDBACK SO MUCH.

(For reference we’re both 21 and met in high school)

My relationship has been tough the past couple months. My boyfriend told me about his porn addiction, his unhealthy relationship with sex and women. He told me how he masterbated to girls at knew at university. This hurt me and is unacceptable. But the thing that I appreciated was his honesty. We took a break. And he changed a lot of habits.

He found a friend and talked about his porn problem, and he started this thing called covenant eyes to keep himself accountable. He’s only had 2 setbacks the past 2 months. He started seeing a therapist to talk about his porn problems and issues with how he seeing women.

Now it’s been 2.5 months and he has been doing well, or so he says. I have a really hard time when I think about our 4 year anniversary coming up in July. The last 2 years we didn’t even celebrate it. And now when I think of “4 years together” I think about his problems he admitted to me. And I think about all the times he hurt me and told me he would change but took no action to do so in the past. Thinking about our day, July 15, felt fake. And I told him this the other day and said if we’re gonna try, I want a new day, and he got really upset bc he said july 15 was important to him. And so we decided against it.

Earlier today he broke up with me on the phone because he didn’t want me to hate myself the way that I do rn every time I think about how I’m a different skin tone than those girls he knows and masterbated to, and how I’m not as toned.

He called me later and acted like everything was new. He was like “hey so I heard you’re single, and I wanted to know if you were free Tuesday at 5” and all that. He said he’ll text me tomorrow (Monday) about details and see if it still works.

He’s restarting it all. Do you guys think it’s a good idea??

I know some parts can’t be restarted. I’m already close with his family, we have a lot of friends in common and know each other’s friends too. But due to quarantine, we don’t have to deal with seeing those people soon or in groups or anything for a while.

My towns restrictions have been lifted a bit and so we can sit on patios and go to parks or drive inn’s etc. So we can plan some dates. I’m excited to see what’s gonna happen but I want to know if you think I’m setting myself up to be hurt again or not.