Am I in the wrong?

Question

So my husband and I have been together for over 3 years. Currently right now he's deployed overseas but will be home by July. We've dealt with long distance throughout our relationship which doesn't bother us too much. Anyways I've been sending him snaps of me half nude, showing him my progress on getting more lean, all the goods basically and he just opens them. Doesn't even say anything.. and I will message him or send him memes on FB messenger and I'll see HE DOESN'T EVEN OPEN IT yet he's liked some random post or liked a photo his mom posted. It's like wtf?? I try my hardest to keep our marriage intact and help him remember he has a good looking wife at home waiting for him (Disclaimer: there's no way he's cheating that's not even a factor, idk why he just doesn't show me any attention). Whenever I bring it up to him he tells me no you do look sexy, i loved the photos, i can't wait to come home to you or I was going to open it... Am I wrong for wanting a bit more attention? Look, I get sometimes deployments can be stressing but coming from a dual military marriage, I still make time for him and give him all of my attention. I compliment him, I screenshot any photos of him or even when we're on facetime yet he doesn't do that with me :(

Answer

I guess my question is, how often are you doing this? If it's pretty regularly, he may be like, ok not sure what else to say cuz I just responded to this yesterday. Or, it could be that he's uncomfortable sexualizing your body when he can see his baby growing in you. In person it's different, but in a photo he may be feeling uncomfortable with it but doesn't want to hurt your feelings. Communicate and find out what's going on.

Answer

it’s nothing to take personally . My bf and I do that all the time and it’s not unhealthy or anything. Sometimes we send eachother pics at the wrong time and we don’t have enough time to fully make a conversation out of what we texted . Sometimes I’m with people and I can’t reply bc I have a nosy family who looks over my shoulder , or maybe we just open it and leave it at that & that’s not something to stress over . He still acknowledged how sexy you are & he’s away right now , so he might not be able to give you the attention you desire. Who knows ! Maybe he doesn’t have much time on his hands or doesn’t want other people seeing it or simply just wants to view it . Its nothing to stress over because you know he isn’t cheating ! lay low on this situation and tell him next time you see him . you’re not wrong and neither is he . Its just some feelings are mixed in there

Answer

3 years is not nearly long enough for your husband to not respond to msgs, let alone half nudes. 
Also is this new behavior? If you’ve always been apart, and this is suddenly new within the last few months, I would be suspicious. 
You said he’s not cheating. Is that just physical or have you considered emotional cheating as well? 
And if none of the above- maybe he’s just depressed? Started a new medication?

Answer

Well since you said you're a dual military couple, you should know that everybody deals with deployment differently. I know some wives that told me their husbands preferred keeping the conversations short and stuff because it would make it easier for them to deal with being far from their families and they would focus more, while others want to talk to their families as much as they can. When my husband is gone, he tries to text us and videocall us as much as he can. But just because yours doesn't it doesn't mean he doesn't want you or he doesn't find you attractive. Or maybe he doesn't have enough time on his hands to actually give your pictures the proper attention. I do send my husband pictures as well when he's gone and sometimes he has the time for a quick text but not to actually engage in a somewhat meaningful conversation so he just quickly opens the pictures and don't say anything. Or sometimes he is on Facebook but doesn't reply when i send him pictures and then he tells me he couldn't really open them because they were all there together waiting for something or just hang out all together and he didn't want people to just glance at his phone and see the pics. Honestly I wouldn't stress out over it too much but most importantly I wouldn't stress him out for something like that. I don't necessarily think you are in the wrong so I'm not saying anything bad, it's normal to feel the way you do when we want more attention from our spouse, just try to think that there could be many reasons why he does that and they are not necessarily bad reasons. I hope things will get back to normal for you when he comes home! Hang in there!

Answer

I got frustrated with my husband on his last deployment as well. He explained it to me that it’s too hard to think about physical stuff or sex when he’s gone. He needs to focus on his job and focus on just making it through each day. I backed off and it removed a lot of stress from both of us. He got home and we picked up right where we left off.

Am I in the wrong?

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