Can In laws just fuck off to another planet!
So I was brought up in Indian household with modern parents but still traditional in the sense that when I got married I was told to ignore certain things my in-laws do and feel lucky that they are much better in comparison to other in-laws. Yes I agree they are not as mad or orthodox as other Indian in-laws and I live in my own place which was a condition I kept before my wedding (Thank god) but his mother likes being overly involved in our lives and what we are doing. Now that I’m pregnant I feel like she will overtake my whole pregnancy and when my child is born I’m expected to stay with them for first month. That’s not an issue but I’m more worried she would judge me for raising my child my way, she would want to do everything and that’s not what I want. When I told her I’ve started making shopping lists for the baby she told me off saying don’t buy anything we will do it together when you are 7 months. She checks up on us several times a day every day and it’s becoming so bugging. If I try getting advice from my parents or aunts I get guilt tripped that atleast I live away from them be thankful so what if I have to take couple phone calls and messages from them every day. It’s not that I’m not thankful I just want to set some boundaries before the child is born but I’m afraid that won’t happen and I’ll just be expected up either be at their house all the time or they will be at mine to spend time with baby. Plus with me being on mat leave she will want to talk several times a day and bug me. She will check up on me if I want to go visit my friends or family. My husband is pretty understanding but sometimes we can get into serious arguments due to this. I don’t understand why everyone makes me feel guilty and thinks I’m being unthankful, all I want to do is set my own boundaries and yes I will appreciate his mothers help after the baby is born but I want to raise my child with my husband on my terms not how she wants to raise my children. I’m tired of arguing with my husband over this and no point talking to my family over this anymore as they just think I’m being unthankful. His parents actually said to him make sure you don’t visit your in-laws a lot, after marriage girls priority should be her husbands family! I was so fuming when they said that, their bloody daughter visits them twice a week but they don’t want me visiting my parents more that once a month! Seriously who comes up with this bullshit!!!!