I’m mean to my bf

Lately I’ve been really mindful at how bitchy I can really be to my boyfriend & I feel horrible about it later.. in the moment he just annoys me & I yell at him or just say something rude but after when we’re all in bed I just look at him sleeping & wanna cry 😕 he does so much for our family & has really changed & unfortunately I have a hard time letting the past go & treat him like shit. I need advice 😐