So tired of in laws and their know it all attitudes

So yesterday my father in laws friend came to visit with her sister (he lives literally 5 seconds from me so we can literally walk to his house) and they brought some baby clothes and a baby blanket her sister had made for the baby. I went out there to get it and we all started talking (I mainly listened) and her sister told me to wash the blanket because she smoked around it when she was making it and she was afraid the scent was in the fabric (because she was clearly concerned about the baby) and my father in law chimes in and was like, “why?” And she said “cigarette smoke” and he replied with “well that won’t hurt it.”

Let me tell you, I’ve HAD IT with his remarks. He acts like nothing can hurt the babies health as if he knows how the baby will react as if it were HIS child not mine. He’s already told me multiple times what to do and what not to do with MY child. Use the cradle he made, why am I using a bassinet, don’t buy stuff right now (I’m 22 almost 23 weeks guys), don’t paint the nursery a certain color, don’t always hold the baby, don’t get an epidural blah blah blah. He’s even went as far as talking to me like I don’t know how to handle a baby. (I helped my sister raise her baby from a newborn until she moved out with her at almost 2 years old and he knows this). He thinks he knows literally everything. Hes even talked down to me about my pregnancy experiences. “Don’t sit around and do nothing because the baby will grow to you” ; “Being pregnant isn’t an excuse to be lazy” ; I’ve HAD IT with his comments. I can’t make this clear enough and I’m going to snap if he doesn’t stop!!!!

It took everything in me to not respond to his stupid comment on cigarette smoke. It took EVERYTHING in me to not tell him, “well I don’t want my baby around cigarette smoke because the increase risk of SIDS”. But even if I did tell him that he would find a way to make some smart remark as if he knows everything. It’s MY freaking baby. M I N E!!!!!!!! He was also talking to his friend and was like “I’d like to find the baby a cute little swing that stands up and goes forward and back. Now they have ones that go side to side and I don’t get it.” I freaking couldn’t stand that because weeks ago we were at walmart and I checked out the baby swing and it goes side to side and there’s NO problem because it does the same damn job, and he knows I like that one and of course he HAD to say something about it and offer to buy one of the many things I want to buy MY child as its parent because we can definitely afford it. It’s like he’s trying to take my baby over and god it’s boiling my blood a lot. I just have this bad feeling that he will try to take my baby over because his sons sperm helped make it and I’m worried my husband will comply to him and go over top of me and the thought pisses me off.

About a week ago we were out (because my husband was at work and I had to go grocery shopping) and we were talking about something to do with my pregnancy and baby and he mentioned something like “well why would you tell (insert parents name here)”.

BECAUSE THEYRE THE GRANDPARENTS TOO??!! I swear y’all it’s like he feels like he should be the only one involved. My child has more than one grandfather and grandmother! It pisses me off that he has this attitude that he should be the ONLY one because the baby is of couch blood. IT ISNT YOUR BABY!! Also, we were talking about hospital plans in case we have visitors (my parents were told too) and every time he asks something about it he’s like “if you want me there or your (insert moms name)..” he ALWAYS puts himself first as if she has no right to be there. I’ve made it clear NO ONE will be in the delivery room with me and my husband because its OUR time to experience the life WE made. YES my mom WILL be there afterwards for support of visitors are allowed because she is my MOTHER. Oh yeah we also talked about after labor and the visitor issue and I told him RESPECTFULLY that we don’t want ANY visitors the first few hours or the day after delivery so we can bond with the baby and I can rest. Well, this dumb ass said, “well usually after labor the woman has to rest so visitors come in and see the baby then when they leave Aaron can spend time with it.” I

My husband will get ALL the time ALONE with HIS baby that he wants. If I request that visitors not come in until I want them to, that has to work or we won’t have ANYONE. My mom already let me know she wouldn’t overstep her boundaries but my husbands dad isn’t overstepping he’s freaking JUMPING over them.

I get he is excited about the baby, but god help me if he tries to do things his way under the assumption that we have to be okay with it. We’ve talked a lot about it and every time he comes up with some crap. He ASSUMES I will let him babysit my NEWBORN baby when he smokes like a freaking train every day, and when he isn’t the cleanest person. Ummm NO. I’ve told my family that we didn’t want visitors all the time because I want to bond with MY baby without someone taking them away from me as if they have a right to. I just KNOW his dad will try to run over top of me and my husband might too to make his dad happy and honestly if that happens I may just leave. If we can’t work together for our baby then why would I stay and feel like I have no say over my own baby?. The point of this long rant is that I’m TIRED of his dads crap. He feels like he should be the ONLY grandparent involved, he feels like he has this right to be around the baby because his sons sperm made it. He feels this need to tell me how to raise my child already and it isn’t even here yet!! He’s ALREADY over stepping and it’s so freaking annoying! God help me because I will end up going off the deep end