so. Sexually. Frustrated.

I’m a virgin. I only ever masturbated for the first time like over a year ago. I’ve only ever orgasmed three times from it, and that was right when I started. I think because it was so exciting and new.

Now i have a boyfriend. We’ve been together for 7 months. Love him dearly but damn...I’m so sick of making him come all the time but never being able to myself!!

He’s been having sex for years, whereas I choose not to (just to be safe and I feel like I’m not ready emotionally ya know?) So all we ever do is make out, dry hump, and jerk each other off. And it ALWAYS ends with him coming. Once he comes it’s over. He kisses me, tells me he loves me, and cleans himself up. I’ve always been okay with that because I’m naturally a giver. Idk, I just feel selfish any time I take?? Something I probably need to talk to a therapist about but idk what to do. Yesterday it’s been bothering me. This morning I was so horny I masturbated in bed next to him while he slept. And you guessed it, didn’t orgasm.

I feel like I get kiiinda close every now and then but then I end up just getting tired of going through the motions/I get bored so I give up.

So that’s what I did this morning. Gave up. Then he woke up and I was still so horny. So I started touching his dick over his shorts and I let my boobs out lmao. He just kinda looked at me, stirred a bit, and started looking at his phone. I’m so frustrated.

I get what I’m asking is, can anyone else relate?? With being unable to orgasm even on my own...unable to orgasm when I’m SUPER horny and grinding on him...and being too afraid to say anything about it??

I think I’m too embarrassed to talk about it because HE never talks about anything sexual. It’s like as if our family is always in the room with us, he’s so g-rated until we’re actually getting hot and heavy then he’s a freak lol. I mentioned to him before that we never talk about sexual stuff (like I assume couples should??) and he goes “whats there to talk about?” I got embarrassed and just said “nothing I guess”. Because obviously he’s so pleased since he comes every fucking day and I haven’t for over a year. It’s embarrassing for me to bring up.....ugh.