Depression

Okay, so I have depression. I’m on 30mg Mirtazapine a day. Been on it for must be 2 1/2-3 years now after being on citalopram 30mg for 2 years then coming off and going on the mirtazapine.

So I’ve always wanted children. I’ve been broody every now and then but it’s passed. But for the last few weeks I’ve been feeling pretty low and extremely broody. I’ve never wanted a child so bad than I do right now. I already feel low as it is and wanting but not being able to have children is making me feel worse. The last few days I’ve been literally on the verge of tears because of how it’s making me feel. I wanna have a huge ass belly. I want the contractions. I want the labour. I want the baby. I wanna be helping with maths homework and about ripping my hair out because I don’t understand it or helping with spellings. It’s not just the baby I want, it’s the child.

Please tell me I’m not the only one that’s going through/been through this or similar! I can even get through to my GP because every time I try calling it’s an automated message that says ‘we’re busy right now, please call back later’ so I keep trying and trying until I get the message that says they’re closed.