What his criticism did to me 😭

My boyfriend believes that the only way to show love is to criticize and that is the only way to help someone become better. Well, I believed him. I believed every comment he ever made about my body and I no longer feel attractive. I believed every comment about myself, my character, my beliefs and how all was wrong and all was bad, I no longer feel good about myself. I no longer feel like I can do anything right.

Well, I recently got my drivers licence. I believed I was a good driver, my instructor told me I was a good driver, other drivers told me I was a good driver. I loved to drive. I celebrated by taking him out on a date and he kept criticizing my driving to the point of making us switch in the middle of a busy road! And he never let me drive again with him. I knew then that I wasn't good enough, so whenever I went practising, I kept hearing his words and believed I am not a good driver. Well, I started to hate driving. Today, I got into a car crash.

I know I can't blame him, and it was my driving that got me into the situation, but words are so strong! Luckily I am okay, and no one else got hurt. I still haven't told him because I fear his reaction. I can't believe how powerful words can be and I don't know how I let myself get to this point. I am getting the courage to leave.