Selfish in bed

I am beyond frustrated. My 3year boyfriend is extremely selfish in bed. He refuses to please me by fingering let alone eat me out. He barely even touches me. When we do have sex, once he is done we are done. I rarely orgasm because he barely lasts 5 minutes and only focuses on his pleasure. I give him blowjobs frequently (5-6 a week) and I am fed up. The idea of pleasing him started to make me nauseus. I feel used. I don't know what to do.

I have tried talking to him, but he thinks I am the one with issues, because every other person would be so gratefull to have him in bed. He thinks he is the best. Sex comes with no foreplay and no pleasure for me. We'll start by giving him a blowjob and then he just puts it in. Sometimes it hurts. He thinks because I am wet that I am horny, which is NOT ALWAYS TRUE. I tried explaining to him that I need to be in the mood, but my wetness is his sign that I am horny.

I want to leave. But I feel like another girl wouldn't put up with him and he would have to change and the idea of that makes me sick. I can't stomach the idea of him eating another girl out.

What do I do? I need good and healthy sex in my life and not someone to make me feel bad about wanting pleasure.

***I have suggested trying out sex toys (so he doesn't have to put in effort) and he got mad because How dare I think he is not good enough and want something more? (Yes I know it's a red flag)

***I also don't want to tell him that this is why I want to break up. I have other reasons and I'll use those, but I can't let him know because he will manipulate me into thinking he'll change (been there done that) and he won't.