Educating myself about racism and white privilege

So I’m a 25 year old, white-as-shit, American woman. My boyfriend is black (Guyanese). I like to think of myself as educated to a point about racism and white privilege. I am an ally and I actively speak out and fight against racism. I, unfortunately, haven’t attended a rally. I have anxiety with crowds which makes it difficult to go even though I want to, and my boyfriend has also asked I not go because he doesn’t want me there if it turns violent. In my city we’ve had 2 peaceful rally’s during the day and 2 that turned violent at night. But I’m trying to do as much as I can besides attend the rally’s. I do my best to educate others, I call out racism whenever I see it, I try and have conversations with my boyfriend and one of my best friends who’s also black about their feelings and experiences, and I just do my best to shut down racism whenever I can.

However I know that there’s still a lot I can learn to better understand. No I will never truly understand what POC go through or feel, but I want to do my best. I understand the fear that I have for my boyfriend and best friend, so I can’t even imagine what you feel when it’s your own life (and family) that you’re worried about. I’m not asking POC to educate me, that’s my job not yours. I’m more asking for ways I can educate myself. Websites, movies, shows, anything. There was this one book that was mentioned in a post about the black experience, but the post is gone and i can’t find it. Any help is greatly appreciated!

*To my ladies of color: I just want you to know that I’m here. I see you, I hear you, I stand with you, and I kneel for you. If you ever WANT to talk to me, comment and I’ll send you a request. If you want to share your story with me just to get it out, I’ll listen. If you want to vent about how shitty white people are, shit I’ll probably agree with 3/4 of what you’re saying. If you just want to let out all the feelings you’re having right now, you just need an ear, I’ve got two 👂🏻👂🏻

**i am cross posting this! I want as many responses as I can get. I apologize if seeing this more than once annoys you. It’s my job as a white American to educate myself on the things POC continue to go through in 2020, and what they’ve BEEN going through. Mute me if it’s a problem.