For those who had children young... now that you are raising your own do you?

Question

Do you allow your children to do the things because you  once did it? I have a lot of friends who have teenagers and they allow them to do things they did because they feel they understand on a personal level. When they find out about things like...
Children losing virginity before 18
Smoking weed
Tattoos 
Skipping school
They don’t bat an eye because they too were the same. What kind of parenting have you decided to do if you were a young parent?
Side note: Some parents are intentional in making sure their children don’t normalize their once bad behavior and some parents feel it’s okay because they also did it.

Accepted Answer

I hope to focus on responsibility. You want to skip school? Make sure you're caught up on the material and you aren't missing anything important. You want to get a tattoo? Maybe try it in a place that isn't visible in case you/your employer has restrictions on that. You want to drink? Your can have a beer with us after your homework is done. No drinking and driving. Always plan ahead. Make sure someone knows where you are.
Speaking from experience, rules only work as long as someone is there to enforce them. What happens when they move out? Are they going to have the tools to make good choices? "Because I told you" won't work when they're an adult.

Answer

I don’t think it’s “allowing it” as much as it is trying to accept and empathize with your teens instead of shaming them. I don’t know of one person who is in adult now that didn’t do at least one rebellious thing as a kid. 
My parents were understanding as I grew up and it helped a lot. Not batting an eye and letting them rogue sounds insane to me tho.

Answer

I had my first at 20 (pregnant at 19).
He is only 10 now but I am not really an easy going mom.
I’m a hard ass on my kids.
I love them hard, but I don’t let them slide by with disrespect or shitty attitudes.
But ive told by my friends I have extremely well behaved children 🤷🏻‍♀️
Just because I made a not so smart choice to get pregnant at 19, doesn’t mean I’m going to be a “cool mom”

Answer

1. smoking weed in my state is legal for ppl over 21 which i 1000 percent agree with. If, as teenagers, my children decide to partake, then they do. I wouldnt "allow" it. 
2. I think a lot of parents are entirely too obsessed with the existence of their teenagers sex life. If its safe and consensual its not my business nor do I want it to be. I will educate and educate and provide resources and information and hope they establish a happy sex life when they are ready  to. 
3. my dad took me to get my first tattoo for my 17th birthday. Tattoos dont bother me at all. 
4. Skipping school... i did it. regretted it. wouldnt condone it.

Answer

Regardless if I had a child when I was 18 or now at 30, my parenting style wouldn’t change.
I wouldn’t “allow” my underage child to have sex, but I would get them birth control or condoms and educate them and encourage them to wait until they’re the legal age of consent.
I wouldn’t “allow” my underage child to do drugs or get a tattoo either.

Answer

Honestly this is more about the person then the age. I feel like I am way easier on my youngest and my kids are 12 years apart

Answer

I got pregnant when I was 18. If I found out that my teenage child was having sex before the age of 18 I wouldn’t be that bothered (within reason), I think that’s quite normal. I’d hope that they’d wait a bit longer than I did (I was 15) but that’s not up to me to decide for them, it’s their body and their life, that is the sort of thing you have to choose for yourself. As long as a level of responsibility is being taken then that’s all I can ask for. As for weed, as long as they were in a safe environment amongst friends, while I wouldn’t be thrilled, I accept that kids need to experiment and rebel a little. The skipping school would depend on the situation and reason but I wouldn’t be happy if I didn’t know where they were. I wouldn’t agree to them having a tattoo until they’re 18 (which is the legal age to get tattoos, drink, drive ect where I’m from) because then they’re adults and less likely to get something they’ll regret. They may be children but they’re supposed to be learning how to be adults which means giving them some room to make mistakes and grow

Answer

I’m so confused by this.  Do you think older parents don’t remember their teen years?

Answer

Nope!! Had my daughter at 20, she will be in high school in a few months and if anything I’m more protective because I was young and made mistakes and don’t want her to make the same

Answer

I’m definitely going to teach my children about all of these things. Even if you don’t allow it, they’ll do it behind your back if they want to. It’s best to inform them and make sure they can come to you for problems. Especially when it comes to sex.

For those who had children young... now that you are raising your own do you?

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