I don’t know how to feel...

I’m gonna try make this post as short as I can.

So in January I found out my boyfriend had an onlyfans account (he doesn’t post anything and he is anonymous on there). He tried to hide it from me and everything. I wouldn’t have known had I not mistakenly saw it in his email while we were trying to handle business together. Now, I don’t have anything against onlyfans but I personally wouldn’t invest that much into porn. I explained to him how I was uncomfortable with him having one, because for one reason, we just had a baby and that money could definitely go towards our son’s diapers etc. and two, when I saw who he was following, one person he follows is someone who he actually KNOWS. He doesn’t converse with the girl or anything but he used to years ago and had a huge crush on her! They even had arrangements of having intercourse with her and one other guy as well, but it never actually happened. I told him I didn’t want him following her and it was disrespectful to me. He agreed and then he claimed to have deleted his page and that was that. Well... a few days ago, I just so happened to be looking for something in his email again and came across a notification from onlyfans. 🤔 now, initially I was like “well, he’s a man, men like porn etc etc” despite the fact that he claimed to had deleted the page but then something just told me to look at the page again.... low and behold, he was still on there and renewing his subscription to the girl I mentioned before. We’ll call her “Shannon.” So I dug a little deeper, and I went to her page and he is loyal fan of hers. He participates in almost everything she posts. He buys a good amount of her personal videos and tips as well. It didn’t hurt as much until I saw one poll that featured a picture of her vagina and under it said “who’s a Cookie Monster? How would you like to eat me?” And he voted y’all.... he said he’d prefer for her to “sit on his face.” After looking at all the content he purchased from her, i then proceeded to ask him why he spends so much money on there. He had just purchased a video of hers the night before, so I asked about that one and he denied “seeing it.” Which makes NO sense to me, because I know you don’t automatically get charged for a video. The only thing that could automatically get charged to your card is the actual subscription if you have the renew button turned on. It’s like hit and miss with him. Some of the things he is admitting to doing and some he isn’t. Guess what else he denied doing? Voting that he’d like her to sit on his face. I’m like “WHO DID THEN?” He then says “it could’ve been a mistake when I was scrolling.” Also, the video that he has unlocked aren’t on Shannon’s page. There are just screenshots FROM the actual videos that says “tip me and I will send this to your DM” yet, when I go to his message thread with him and her, there is absolutely NOTHING there. I asked him how he gains access to the video and he says “they’re just on my timeline. I swipe the picture and then video shows up, prompting me to unlock it” which I don’t even believe that shit. At this point I’m so hurt, because for one, he lied and told me he was gonna delete the page and two, he knows how I feel about him following Shannon, yet he still does and even participates in a good amount of her content.