Should I tell my mom? (Read description)

Ok, so let me begin by saying I know I’m of course not obligated to tell anyone other than my partner that we are TTC, but I’m super close with my mom and I always tell her everything.

...except this. That we are TTC. That we have been since September and have been struggling since then, and that I have a fertility clinic appointment next week.

Honestly, I really wanted to tell her from the beginning. Except she tends to always think she knows best, and she thinks we should wait a few years before having kids. I wanted to spare myself the lectures and the nagging, of every time I do something not up to her standards, or my husband and I bicker or something, her making a comment how “that’s not acceptable when you have children”.

Even when I mentioned that it may be sooner than “a few years” (implying that we were wanting to start relatively soon) she started on exactly what I was afraid of... “have you been exercising?” “Not much this week.” “Well if you want to get pregnant soon, you need to be in better shape!” Etc.

So anyway, back in September I decided not to tell her to spare myself her judgement/lectures. I figured I’d be pregnant within a few months, and she’d be on board then. Except, I’m not pregnant, and now I’m going to begin fertility treatment.

I know I still don’t “have” to tell her. But this is so stressful and scary and I kinda want her to have my back. It also feels so wrong lying to her. Before when we were just, having unprotected sex, I was able to just omit that and it didn’t feel like “lying.” But now, I told her I have a “reproductive endocrinologist appointment, to help me balance my hormones and help with my painful periods.” Well, that’s partly true, but... it’s at a fertility clinic.

I feel like I can only keep this a secret so long even if I wanted to not tell her, because she’s going to ask where the appointment is, what happened, etc. She even offered to go with me for support (thinking it’s just an endocrinologist). And again, I know I don’t have to tell her, but I feel SO AWFUL lying. And I don’t need this stress on top of my infertility stress...

But part of me is scared to tell her, because (1) she’s going to be upset that I kept it a secret this long and (2) then I’m going to have to deal with her judgmental “are you sure youre ready to be a mom?”s.

I don’t know what to do.

And if your advice is to tell her...... please give me ideas how...? 😣